it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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