she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
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