hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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