I didn't shave. On purpose
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
