names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
