i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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