ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I'm passing your future prison.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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