Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
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