we're blogging at a bar
you mean i was at the winter classic?
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
