A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
