i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
