Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
