i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I intend to get homeless drunk
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
