Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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