Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
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