That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
