Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize