Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
