I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
