Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Randomize
