what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
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