Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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