It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
