forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Randomize
