apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
