i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
