he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
