the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
