apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize
