All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize