i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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