I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
