my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Randomize
