I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Man, jail baloney is awful.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
