I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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