There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
