He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Randomize
