i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
People with herpes should wear stickers.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
