He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
so explain again why im purple
no
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Randomize
