Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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