Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
