Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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