he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
