Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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