LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
