How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
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