I must be too annoying 4 u.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
