i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
