It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
