So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
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