none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Randomize
