i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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