I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Shame - the story of my life.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
