wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
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