someone get that fucking seahorse.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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