so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Randomize
